It’s not very often that we get an unexpected afternoon with Kory so we took advantage of it and hung out in the pool with the kids for a bit. I also got to play….. 🙂 Everyone was happy. The water was still a bit murky but it made for awesome images. Who wants an underwater session???
I finally had some ample time to sit in front of the computer and get random stuff done. I came across some old pieces and O…..M…..G. You never realize how far you can get away from yourself. Creating the art I wanted to at that moment and diving so far into it that what you get in the ending is so far from where you ever started. I don’t feel like I’ve just created in a long time. So time for some change. Cheers.
I’ve known Elizabeth for a few years now. Our kids went to an amazing preschool together and I’m so glad we were in the same class. This little bunch of amazing people are so incredibly kind and would you just look at how adorable these kids are!!! They have been blessed with 5 beautiful babes. Is it chaotic? Sure, what family isn’t? But just being with this crew makes you appreciate how precious children are and how much I want each and every family I photograph to see how amazing they are.
Much Love to you all.
We actually got our pool open a few weeks early this year. The kids could not wait! I’m so glad we did, and we skipped tadpole season 😂. Usually we are wading in green murky water cleaning it out and we are joining about 5 million tadpoles. Needless to say we swim with frogs all summer. I tell my kids to float on the their backs and listen to the frogs in the evening and pretend that they’re in the middle of a giant lake looking up at the sky. You should try it sometime. 😉 I never ever want to forget these moments with these three.
Hold Vomit in.
Here I go.
I CAN do this.
I’ve done this before and written the same words. I’ve started and stopped so many times that you’re probably annoyed I’m doing it again. Haha. Third times a charm right?
I don’t put myself out there ever. I hide and avoid people both online and in person. It is hard to even go take my daughter to dance or go to school parties, hell even the grocery store sometimes. Every time it’s a struggle and I do it because I have to but it’s hard as hell and I have a headache when I get home because I’ve stressed myself out over nothing. Is it dealing with depression my entire adult life? That’s part of it but it mostly comes down to one thing.
That’s why. It’s fear. It’s fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, thin enough, pretty enough etc. And that goes for my life and my photography. It’s so true that I have to quote Brooke Shaden’s tat “fear is the mind killer” true.
Along with the fear it’s getting lost. Getting lost in doing things for everyone around you and nothing for yourself. You let yourself go in every aspect and you completely lose who you are and what you want. You put yourself on the back burner for so long the thought of doing something for yourself almost feels wrong. It’s everything from the small things like going outside and worrying that someone will want to talk to you to the huge things like starting a career. You know you can do any of them if you just get out of your own way and stop giving a shit about what your tribe will say (and they will say it) and just doing it. It’s hard that’s why.
I have been doing a lot of value work and I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner. Trying to realize that I am just one person on this HUGE planet and that there is so much more to focus on than things people may or may not be thinking. It comes down to what you do for others. Again, just like you do everyday with the ones you love only not getting lost for yourself. You HAVE to do things for yourself. I feel like I am finally getting some freedom with #3 starting kindergarten this year. I am going to put myself into doing this, for myself and for the world. I need to live through creativity and share it. I know I’ll touch someone. I’m going to try. I am. I don’t ever ask for help but I’m going to now. I will need a boost sometimes. I might need someone to ask about me if they haven’t heard from me in a while.
You didn’t think I was going to put a clear picture of myself up yet did you? 🙂